On the Baby Who Sleeps through the Night

Where am I? Currently at the booth in the kitchen, surrounded by printed out pages of scholarly articles, baby in my arms (originally in her Moby wrap, but she’s adamantly wrestled her way out of the confines, as she’s been doing often, lately). For now, I am giving up on trying to read this super heavy philosophical stuff (which requires some serious concentration under normal circumstances), and am adjusting said baby (very wiggly) back and forth….annd I thought I’d write a short blog instead.

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And now, I’m preparing for some people to be mad at me, but I’m just going to say it:

My baby has slept all the way through the night, 95% of the time, since she was two months old. She goes to bed about 10 p.m. and sleeps until 7:30, and that’s how it is, folks.

I’m incredibly grateful for this. I like my sleep. Some friends have jokingly called Kora a “bait baby” (because, you know, she’s bait to have another one).

As AWESOME as it is to get that sleep, I just recently realized that Kora is very unusual in another way, compared to most babies.

She doesn’t really nap.

Like, hardly at all.

I put her down for two naps. She usually sleep for about 10 minutes around 10:30 a.m. and about 20 minutes at 3 p.m. That’s all, unless her routine is thrown off or she’s not feeling well. The rest of the time, she’s super, super, super active, exploratory, wiggly and wants to be played with, which is also really sweet and awesome and everything, and I love it.

However, it does make getting things-particularly academic or work-like things- done during the day difficult.

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She really doesn’t ever stop moving and exploring. Who is this girl going to be? What is she going to do?  How did she come out like this?

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It’s crazy to me how people just come out, and they just ARE. They are already personalities. And we have to patiently wait until they start speaking so we can ask them all about it.

So, on babies who sleep through the night, like mine….

I wouldn’t trade my blissful nights of solid sleep…I’m TOTALLY grateful for it.  But I kind of wonder if the ones who sleep through the night are just preparing for a day of non-stop: NAPS? WHAT NAPS? IT’S GO TIME, MOM!

Also, she’s about to start crawling, like, right on the verge.

So there’s my workout program for 2016.

 

 

 

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Good Morning! 10 Ways to Have One of Those.

Today, where I am is a bit of a grey space (but if I spell “grey” the British way, doesn’t that make it more romantic?)

It’s not like anything terrible happened. I’ve just been in a bit of a funk since last night, one of those rare nights (I usually sleep like a log), when I had trouble falling asleep. A lot of my negative emotions-worry, doubt, sad memories and feelings- started creeping up on me, so I decided to at least try to get some reading done, which was good. However, I had some pretty disturbing dreams and woke up feeling generally grumpy and overwhelmed with stuff to do and not very “Carpe Diem.” I think if wbook-nerdspiration_readbreatherelax5-500x330e’re honest, most of us have experienced a blah kind of morning like that. Anyway, I’m going to give myself some advice on how to get this day going the right direction. You are welcome to take it as advice for yourself, too.

Disclaimer: Not sure that everything on this list is applicable for dudes.

  1. Do 2 things right away: Get the coffee going and make your bed. Knowing that some fresh coffee is on it’s way is an immediately good start to a potentially chaotic morning, and if you make your bed first thing (while the coffee is brewing), you already feel like a somewhat put-together person. My aunt taught me this one. It works.
  2. Spend a few minutes getting your priorities straight for the day. I failed on this  today, but I’m about to start over by reading my devotional. I’ve been trying to read “Jesus Calling” in the mornings. It’s a short but powerful little devotional that’s become pretty popular in the last few years. It basically takes specific Scriptures for each day and merges them together in a format that makes it like a daily letter from Jesus to the reader, including the scriptural references so you can expand your daily study.  I also find I have a better morning when I make a to-do list for the day. I try to get something in there from each area of my life, and I also try to not make impossible lists.
  3. Look like an actor in a technicolor film. Wear bright colors. Go ahead and do your hair/makeup extra snazzy (snazzy?) if that makes you feel more human. There’s something to looking good=feeling good.
  4. Aromatherapy. Whether you diffuse some bright essential oils, light a candle, or spritz yourself with your favorite fragrance before heading out the door, aromatherapy makes you take deep breaths and, when you exhale, you feel encouraged.
  5. Do something you’ve been putting off. For me, that will be folding the laundry that has been in the dryer for two days. What did my last post say? Oh yeah, I SUCK at laundry. It’s true, guys. Next on my list…..writing a thingy about post-colonialism and Homi Bhabha…hmm.
  6. Plan something creative. Whether that’s cooking (which some days is the easiest way to get your creative in, because you’d probably have to do it anyway) or playing a musical instrument, writing, drawing, coloring, whatever.
  7. Plan something physical. Especially something that takes you outside or makes you be social, like a short walk outside or a group fitness type thing. Being outside of your normal state and/or hanging with people who just want to share the sheer joy of movement can be a game changer.
  8. Listen to music. What’s your jam? What makes you want to dance? That’s the kind of music I’m talking about.
  9. Change your posture and your expression. There are a lot of TED talks about this. Make yourself look confident, put a smile on your face. It will actually change how you feel (and how people treat you.)
  10. If all else fails, probably you should just watch “You’ve Got Mail,” and think about what Kathleen Kelly would do. I think she’d probably put up twinkle lights, go out and get some daisies and read a book. Or she’d go to the mattresses (also, btw, that’s what the Godfather would do).3991645_std

Write Where You Are: What does that mean?

First of all, I apologize that I haven’t been a good, consistent blogger lately. I’m going to re-commit to putting out something-even if it’s short, or not the best-several times a week. At this point, I’m also kind of wanting to refocus on the purpose of this journey in writing. While I’ll be looking for a little bit more of a cohesive feel to future posts in terms of format, at least, I still plan to write about whatever strikes me at the time. Here’s why.

My site is called “Write Where You Are,” for a reason. I know it seems like a cop-out—like—oh she can just write anything on here if she calls it that. And that is sort of the point. But it actually has always been very intentional, to the point of HEY, I am NOT one thing.  YOU aren’t either. For another good post on this topic, and just a good blog, check out my friend Corinne over at: https://owanderingfolk.wordpress.com/

Here’s the thing, for me anyway. I could write on my description that I’m a  “homemaker,  wife and mom,” which I am. But if that’s my “theme,” then that shapes the whole impression  people have of me, the way I look at myself, even. And I’m not really aspiring  to define myself only by those terms, as noble as they are (also I totally suck at laundry, among other household tasks). Or I could say, “I am an academic, a bookish old soul and introvert.” Also somewhat true, but that’s not me completely either (although that sounds like someone who would own a rockin’ tweed jacket, which is on my bucket list. Elbow patches please.)  There’s the good girl who never got grounded, never had a rebellious phase, did everything I was supposed to do, in the right order. Those are all ideals, categories I sort of aspire to fill, but not really me.

Hey, then there are my failures: there’s the flake that I can come across as a lot of times, who never knows what to say in person, who gets flustered easily in uncomfortable situations and breaks virtually any nearby technology with a single glance. There’s the temper most people don’t know I have. There’s the part of me that always feels like an imposter, not good enough. There’s the part of me that’s a selfish brat. The part of me that’s incapable of understanding certain concepts or remembering to do certain things.

 Or-to be a super-confusing person-I could label myself as happily, productively, ADD. I could reference the silly, extroverted  Zumba instructor that I am several nights a week, or I could place my identity in the fact that a lot of times I dance and sing like a crazy person in my house to Bollywood while being a multi-tasking hoodlum and caffeine junky. Did you know Gilmore Girls is my favorite show? Because it is. Oh yeah, I’m a health freak by the way….BUT I also love cheese and red velvet cake.

I could call this a “Christian blog,” but I feel that would be unnecessary, too (and maybe a let down for the theological blog-readers out there). Because my content is everywhere, and my faith infiltrates my perspectives– my hope would be that my faith is transparent here, regardless of topic.

You get the point? I feel as though any label I could choose would be, to some degree, counterfeit in its simplicity, it’s in-completeness. I feel like that’s unavoidable for social media like Facebook, but no, not on my blog.

Here’s the other thing–Really I started writing more when I was heavily grieving the loss of my mom in 2013. I guess I found it necessarily to somehow bring together the part of me that people saw on a daily basis (the one who could function and teach and smile) and the part of me that frequently screamed at the top of my lungs in empty parking lots because I couldn’t handle the stuff my heart was feeling. Writing became a way to discover about grief and love and the reality of the way that the world-and you-grows over these ugly wounds to make something new. I tried to be honest, and I shocked some people I think, because my voice is most real in these typed words….much more real than the little voice people hear when they speak with me.

So here’s my angle: We spend enough of our lives worrying about fitting into boxes and not enough of them finding our voice. Really, that’s what I want “Write Where You Are” to be about. It’s a one-woman stand against turning labels into restrictions…Because the temptation to fall into a category is very high-pressure. More than that, it’s my way of finding my voice, and maybe encouraging others to do the same.

Ultimately,  you not one thing; I am not one thing.   You can be smart and a flake. You can be hilarious, fun and depressed. You can be an introvert who’s good at fake extrovert-ing.  You can be the cool person who is a big nerd on the inside. Or the nerd who is a cool person on the inside. You can be a loving husband or wife and let down the person who cares about you the most. You can be a good friend who forgets to do the stuff good friends always do. You can doubt and have faith. You can be in pain and be full of joy.

You are much more than each category, or the sum of their parts, or even the differences between them. And that voice that represents the real you, when and if you can find it, is worth putting to paper. The best way to start is simply to write where you are.