My rating: 3.5/5 quills

As you can tell from my quill rating, this was a “like,” but definitely not a “love.” While I know that this book is much-loved in many of my Christian circles, there are several things about it (“evidence,” examples, and tone) that weren’t appealing to me at all. That said, I do think it’s a unique and important book, as it handles many important topics with depth, complexity, and Biblical truth. Those are all wins. Now let’s dig in a little deeper. (But first I wanted to give you the chance to prepare yourself to forgive me if you love this book, and probably also to forgive me if you hate this book.)

Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle is a conversation starter, either way you look at it. It’s a thought-provoking, unique, counter-cultural stick of dynamite. Tackling “The Restoration of Femininity” from a Biblical lens, Merkle digs into how the diminishing of Biblical femininity has rippled through our culture, touching on everything from gender roles, having babies, not having babies, and what “homemaking,” really means.

The book stands out for its unique angle on a topic which may seem niche, but which is actually broader than it might first appear, rippling into many aspects of all of our lives.

But let me tell you, my reaction to this book was a rollercoaster.

This is noteworthy especially because, on paper, I’m the poster child for its intended audience (having much in common with the author, herself): an educated, Christian, traditionally feminine, homeschooling mom who thinks “home” is pretty special and worth sacrificing for/ investing in. Yet, even as the target audience, I had issues with Eve in Exile.

Let’s start by some of her main points, many of which I found to be logically organized and well-presented. Here are the highlights of the conversation in Eve in Exile:

1. Gender Roles and Definitions.
Merkle presents a strong argument for distinct gender roles, suggesting equality shouldn’t mean “sameness.” I enjoyed her discussion of boundaries, differences, and excellence as she explored how “the lines define and create a space where excellence can thrive.”

2. Feminist Movements’ Impact.
She focuses not just on the what of women’s basic rights as humans (which she does agree with), but the how and why (which she does not agree with). She goes on to describe how the “how and why” of the Feminist movements have invoked many problems in our current culture, including:
-Celebrating selfishness over selflessness
-Separating sexuality from motherhood, devaluing both as a result.
-Creating a culture that no longer values what femininity actually is, because it’s so focused on making women just like men.
-Making a mockery of the traditional “homemaker” role which is often seen as either sloppy and depressing (think: the millennial mom Instagram trope based on her description) or as a 1950s stereotype (think: a superficial and purposeless existence based on her description).
-How this all leads to a gaping, black hole of overall purposelessness.

3. God’s Design for Women.
This is where Merkle shines, emphasizing women’s unique, God-given roles. She discusses how equality is harmonious when women and men have distinctive roles. She does a really excellent job showing the importance of both, how our current culture may not value one as much of the other (much needed validation, moms), but how we can re-claim ownership of Biblical femininity and find great satisfaction and joy in doing so (I was thinking: “OK. YES. LET’S GO!)

4. Understanding Biblical Submission.
To me, this section was the most dynamic, potentially bombshell, and most well-handled part of the book. Merkle tackles two controversial passages of Scripture which are often mishandled (either denied or misinterpreted): 1 Corinthians 11 (“Woman was created for man”), and Titus 2:3-5, which describes the role of Biblical women in society. My hackles raised slightly here when I realized what she was getting into, but I read it, nonetheless. I have to say that her discussion of these Scriptures is uniquely well done, and worth a read if you are a Christian woman. It’s counter-cultural, but Biblically grounded and convincing. The Biblical perspective here is what makes it so good AND EVEN NON-OFFENSIVE (if you are a Christ-follower.) Ultimately, this section glories Biblical womanhood by comparing it to the life of Christ.

While I think these major points were well-done and worth reading if you are a Christian woman, my praise comes with some serious reservations (and a few eyerolls). Here are some reasons I struggled with Eve in Exile:

1. So Much Stereotyping, Generalizations, and Negativity.
One major issue with the book is its tendency toward stereotyping, generalizing, and a negative tone against entire groups of women. This is particularly evident in the discussion of the 1950s housewife. Merkle portrays these women as vapid and unfulfilled, their meaningful work supposedly replaced by gadgets, diminishing their role as home keepers. While I understood her initial point, her continued portrayal devolves into a demeaning stereotype of an entire generation of women.

For example, Merkle uses “the casserole” as a recurring symbol of lazy homemaking, frequently associating it with the 1950s housewife, whom she describes as preoccupied with just “throwing a casserole in the oven and looking nice.” This oversimplification does a disservice to the complexity of women’s lives. Many women found, and still find, fulfillment in caring for their families and homes. (If they can now, as she argues, then why couldn’t some then?) Additionally, it overlooks the fact that some women had jobs, often facing unfair treatment.

Her suggestion that greater respect and happiness would have come during this time for women if only they had found greater joy in, and worked harder at, their homemaking roles in the ’50s, instead of entering the workforce. (SERIOUSLY??? Let’s go talk to June Cleaver about this one.)

2. Use of Questionable Statistics
Merkle also uses questionable statistics to support her arguments. For example, she compares the rates of antidepressant use among women in the 1950s to the present, insinuating that women are less happy now due to their participation in the workforce. (It was a rise of about 3%). This comparison is super flawed, given the significant changes in mental health awareness and treatment since the 1950s. 3% is barely a fluctuation, especially given that everyone and their dog has a therapist today, whereas it was a lot less common in the 1950s. The fact that she even uses this example as “evidence” undermines her point.

3. Lack of Depth in Examples
Lastly, and perhaps most disappointingly, Merkle fails to get personal and go deep when it really counts. More personal accounts would have added so much to the whole book, but particularly when Merkle delves into the essence of Biblical femininity. She starts this section strong, offering a compelling view of women as translators of the immaterial into physical, beautiful experiences. She uses the strong example of how women create the experience of Christmas to highlight the meaning of Christmas.
However, her examples beyond that fall short, focusing on cooking, interior design, and dressing well as pinnacles of Biblical womanhood. (Really?) This approach paradoxically reinforces the very stereotype of the 1950s housewife—focused on surface-level tasks—that she earlier criticizes. A deeper exploration, perhaps including personal anecdotes from her own life and journey, would have added significant much-needed impact to this section.

In essence, I do think Eve in Exile is a worthwhile read for the Christian woman, but I can only recommend it with some caveats. It’s insightful, unique, thought-provoking, and grounded in a strong Biblical foundation. Yet, it sometimes slips into stereotypes and misses the mark in fully exploring the depth of its subject. In other words, its tone often undermines the message itself. It’s a book that will resonate with some, challenge others, and leave many, like me, feeling a blend of strong agreement, frustration, and the occasional eye-roll.